This weekend we once again head out to see Dr. Dobbs. However, this visit is a bit different. Not only will we be seeing Dr. Dobbs for a check, we'll also be doing an 'H&P' (history and physical in medical terms) and then having a nerve study done to confirm what Dr. Dobbs believes is nerve damage that is preventing her clubfoot from maintaining correction. Since this test checks for nerves, they believe it best that she be put to sleep for the process as Laura isn't exceedingly tolerant of some medical procedures. Especially those that cause some pain. Gee, who would have guessed?
Once we know the outcome of the testing we'll know what surgery, if any, she'll need. I'm expecting some but I'm not fully aware yet of all of our options. We're expecting the test results to give us that information. And we'll also know what additional casting might be needed to recorrect her foot. I feel somewhat like this may be the beginning of the end. But I've felt that way before and we are still on the journey so I'll reserve that until a later date.
I've often wondered why God hasn't fixed this. Why he hasn't just reached down and moved her bone back where it belongs or readjusted her fat pad so she's walking more normally. And I know that if she were a 'normal' clubfoot child we'd be done with the shoes, the regular appts and the constant wondering. We'd be done. But that isn't our reality. So I'll just keep on going through doors the Lord opens, doing what needs to be done and praying that the Lord's will would come to fruition in His time. And I think that is the hardest thing in all of this. Not knowing the outcome but moving ahead anyway.
Perhaps that is the bigger picture for me, and what I'm learning through all of this. Trusting the Lord. Following the Lord. Doing what I know is right even when it is the hard thing to do. Trusting. Totally trusting. I think it is one of the hardest things I'll ever do. And I know it is the right thing. I've tried the 'on my own' thing. Didn't get me very far. So here we are. Headed out on the road again. Another St. Louis drive by! May the Lord protect us, provide for us and give Dr. Dobbs wisdom as we move forward in our journey.