Blessed Be The Tie That Binds?

I know. I know. He's handsome. Especially in a tie. But be prepared, girls. He won't be ready for his own wedding for another dozen years or so!

Ka and Jarryd's Special Day

Yesterday, a new family was created and ours grew. All at the same moment. The first in the youngest generation of our family was married. Ka and Jarryd shared their vows before the Lord in front of family and friends in a very sweet ceremony, and without a quiver. Confident and smiling, they couldn't have been more relaxed or sure that their union was indeed blessed.

In true Mikayla fashion, she went a bit against the norm. Not only did she not wear high heels (smart girl!), she did not walk down the aisle to "Here Comes The Bride" (she chose something more melodic to walk to) and she had not only a ring bearer and a flower girl (yes, Laura was her flower girl - even in double casts), but she had a 'flower Dad' as well. You'll see what I mean as you look through the pictures... Poor Don. He did a great job!

Fall Has Arrived

I love fall. It is my absolute favorite time of the year. Yes, yes, I know. I absolutely LOVE Christmas, too. But fall. There is just something about the beauty of it all, so many colors on the trees, the smells, the sounds, the cooler nights... Yes, I LOVE fall!

Today we decided to take advantage of the sunshine and stopped by a roadside stand to pick up a few pumpkins, gourds and such. Libby was quite the item with the other visitors as well as the owners, and Laura managed to move around through the pumpkins holding Daddy's hands despite her double casts. Jonathan picked out pumpkins for both he and Matthew, and Laura got two. One that was shaped like a heart and the other that she'll actually consent to cut.

I wonder if her special pick will still be around in the family Christmas pictures. Hey, don't laugh! Nothing like reminiscing over some happy holiday photos to discover that you not only maxed out the Christmas decor, but you forgot to do something with the pumpkins! Trust me. I have personal experience!

A Patched Princess

When you have children, it is always easy to find something to talk about. Their frequent antics provide plenty of fodder. And with Laura we get frequent questions about how her feet are doing and regular comments about how far she has come. But we rarely talk about her vision. It just is. Lately, though, I've had the opportunity to share about it with several other families. We've been stopped in stores, the park and the playground as folks ask about her patch.

Yes, Laura has had some vision challenges. Don has dealt with them his whole life and his Mom has as well. I guess it is just one more way she's very much like her Daddy. Oh, don't get me wrong. We will continue to pray for her daily and we expect her vision to improve. Whether the Lord does it miraculously, or through the work of her pediatric ophthalmologist is still an unknown. So meanwhile, we do whatever we can to help her with that as well.

For the past year and a half or so she's had to wear a patch over her much better eye in order to strengthen her weak one. Currently, she wears it about 6 hours or so a day, often more. And we'll return to the specialist in November to see how she's doing. When we started patching we discovered there were a variety of options, and like the studious Mom that I am, I researched them. Using adhesive patches just wasn't going to work with her - she develops sensitivities to adhesives - so we opted for this model. Since the original, I've purchased several more from the creator and we love the variety. If you need to patch your princess, or prince for that matter, please check out www.goipatch.com for some great, creative options.

Grand Openings? Depends On Your Perspective!

In my short life as a stay at home/home schooling Mom who likes to think she has time for hobbies, I've experienced the grand opening of a craft store or two in my day. Yesterday I experienced the grand opening of a different sort. I carted four kids two hours away for the grand opening of a new Lego Store that opened in a huge, upscale shopping 'center' built in the new, cozy streets concept. And I just had to note a few differences.

At Craft Stores: They are generally large enough that everyone who shows up can enter as soon as they can squeeze their bodies through the door, hopefully in time to grab a cart on your way by.

At Lego Stores: Since their only purpose is legos, and just how many of those can you have after all, the size is smaller than a normal shoe store and therefore must be monitored for body count or the Fire Marshall will get fussy. This means long, several hour waits snaking around buildings for the poor souls who didn't get there before dawn to start the waiting process.

At Craft Stores: Little children are left at home with the husband who generally is more concerned with the large hole his wife's shopping trip will leave in his wallet than what his kids are doing at any given moment. And he has little understanding of just what the purpose of each carefully chosen and planned for purchase will do for him. Or the need his wife has for a creative outlet, if only in concept.

At Lego Stores: Little children make up 60% of the crowd. And they are excited. Very excited. So excited, in fact, that most feel the need to share with everyone within shouting distance just what set they are going to get to go with the ones they already have when they finally reach their own El Dorado. Well, most of them do. The others are busy playing handheld games and could care less about line etiquette if it impedes their ability to win. The rest of the crowd is made up of equal parts exhausted parents, usually mothers, who are wishing for a tall, cool drink somewhere quiet, and fathers/uncles/grandparents/other men who have a long term love of little plastic pieces and can't wait to spend their money they've been saving for two years to get that long coveted set they can't find at their local store. This group of men send 'scouts' to stand at the store door hoping to catch anyone leaving with 'pick-a-brick' cups so they can preplan what bricks they'll be purchasing when they finally reach the 'wall'. I won't even go in to how this effects what little line etiquette remains.

At Craft Stores: Women who want to browse are given the leeway to do so as long as they don't get in the way of the greater crowd who are there with a list in mind and can't wait to get their treasures and get home to start planning and crafting. Check out lines move smoothly and are well defined by the cash registers ready to receive all of the stuff piled in each cart.

At Lego Stores: Browsers are not expected, and those who want to capture the moment forever on film will encounter the biggest challenge of their day yet. Bodies are in constant motion. Even those who take a moment to be in awe of what Master Builders have created only take a moment before moving on. Check out lines are nonexistent. There's a counter with stressed store employees who just want a moment of silence to calm the buzzing in their brains. Your guess is as good as anyone else's regarding who is next to check out. Calm is only maintained by those parents who take a moment to add up the cost of their several hour wait in the sun and to question their sanity before moving forward, allowing those who don't want to know the chance to hit the cast register before them.

At Craft Stores: Those leaving the store rush to their cars, unload their purchases, abandon their carts and leave as quickly as they can.

At Lego Stores: Those leaving the store want to revel in the fact that they made it in, conquered the store and are victorious in their purchase, and they want to do it with all of those still waiting to cheer them on. Big yellow bags are constantly being opened in front of those who have yet to see a glimpse of their El Dorado, driving up the excitement and creating an even louder plan of action amongst the lego fanatics still in line. And this activity is encouraged by overly cheerful store employees in yellow aprons who are also hot and tired, and trying to remember why it is that they applied for the job in the first place.

But after all is said and done, I can honestly say that those who purchase at the Lego Store are much more likely to actually use their purchase in a timely manner and I am sure there were many boxes being opened even before the cars they were riding in left the parking lot. Oh if only those lego fanatics would give us creative folk some space in the basement and time to create... Just think what we could accomplish! Meanwhile I'll be happy interpreting lego instructions for the newbie in the house as she embarks on her first lego purchase. Heaven help us. If her brothers are the example she's following, we are in trouble!

Conversations With Laura, Part 2

As she played with her barn this morning, I took note that sheep, cows and horses were not the inhabitants. So this conversation followed:

Me: Who is living in your barn today?
Laura: Fairies, of course!
Me: Oh. Of course.

Play goes on for awhile. Pretty soon a chair appears next to me and then the barn lands on the chair.

Me: Oh my! I didn't know fairies were in the Wizard of Oz...
Laura, looking at me rather sternly: Mom. The fairies want a makeover. One of your makeovers.
Me: So they want their hair done?
Laura: Yes, and makeup and a new outfit and whatever. Like you do for me.
Me: Of course. When should I start?
Laura: Mom! They are lined up in front of you. Can't you see them? You just have to believe. That's all. Just believe. And accept that they are there. Then you'll be able to see them!

Ah, how innocent. Just believe. And accept. So simple, and yet so difficult. And yet it is what the Lord asks. I couldn't help but hum "Trust and Obey" to myself as I gave each and every fairy their very own pretend makeover. :)

Conversations With Laura...

Laura: Mom? Why is my barn dusty?
Me: Because it sat for a long time without you playing with it.
Laura: But why is it dusty?
Me: There is dust in the air and when something sits still, it collects dust that falls out of the air.
Laura: Can our skin get dusty?
Me: No, not really. Because we are always moving.

Laura freezes and sits totally still for a time, just sitting there smiling.
Then she looks down at her arm, feels her arm and gets this big smile on her face.

Laura: Mom! Feel my skin! It is dusty!

I feel her skin. Uh no. Not dust...

Me: Laura, that's not dust. That's dried snot. You need to use a kleenex.
Laura: Yeah, you're right. It's swot. I will get a kleenex when my arm is full.

I grimace. She smiles gleefully and says: Of dust Mom! Not swot! and runs away laughing.

Welcome to my world.

MILling About...

I will be the first to admit that the past month has been lacking in creativity, homeschool progress, and yes, even cleaning. But it has been full of comfort, stretching our boundaries, lots of problem solving, family, and a growing love for my mother-in-law.

Jan was taken to the ER early in February for what we now know was apraxia/anoxia, a pulmonary embolism, congestive heart failure, eventual pneumonia, and a few other problems that might seem minor but added to the overall picture of her health. She spent 10 days there and was moved to a nursing home where she stayed until we moved her last week to a wonderful Assisted Living facility just a few minutes from our home that embodies the philosophy of 'aging in place'. She's currently doing very well there and under Dr. Stone's care she is just about back to the Mom we all know. There are challenges yet to overcome, but she's on her way and improving every day. But that's not the journey I wanted to share today. There are more important journeys that have begun, and in these lie the future of our family.

When my slightly larger family merged with Don's rather small one almost seven years ago now, we added just four new members to our family but they added 12. And if you count all of those extended family members, they had to deal with much more than that. And in typical fashion, we embraced their small family and just added them in to the fold. They were a part of all of our family celebrations, invited to every activity, and rejoiced with us when Laura was born. They were family. But I'm not sure that they fully understood what that meant to all of us, not even Don.

Having been on his own for so long it was hard for him to realize that my Dad meant it when he said he'd help with something. And that my parents really expected a call when large family projects were under way. Or that the word "we" really meant "we", as in all of us. I think Diane first truly began to understand just how much we loved her when she joined us for our week at the beach. We trusted her enough to let her see the good and the bad in all of us, to be squished in the car that seats 10 with the other 9 of us, traveling 10 hours through countryside and city traffic with my Dad at the wheel. If ever there was a time that she could choose to bail on us, that would have been it. But she hung in there. And she was even game for planning next year.

After our week at the beach I think Diane began to understand just how much we did love and accept her as a part or our family, but she still held the primary responsibility for Mom and couldn't spend as much time with us as we'd like. Often my Mom and I plan impromptu meals, gatherings and such just because we haven't seen each other since last weekend, we need a project completed together, or we have caramel corn to make by the gallon. While we'd like for Diane to be more a part of these times, it isn't feasible since she's so far away and the demands of life, taking care of Mom's needs, and puppy motherhood keep her schedule pretty full. We miss her, but we continued to pray for the Lord to open up a way for us to be together more.

When Don and Diane realized in February that Jan really shouldn't be living alone any longer, I realized big changes were coming to all of us. As we gathered to start planning what we needed to do, I naturally included my parents. After all, Mom and Dad would be a part of whatever plans we needed to make, even if it only meant keeping Laura occupied while the rest of us sorted, cleaned, prepped and painted. With our usual division of labor in full force, Mom and Dad gently helped us problem solve, and Don, Diane and I decided it was time to relieve Diane from the full responsibility of her Mom. We all decided it would be best if we moved her from the hospital down here to a nursing home. Oh, don't get me wrong. It wasn't an easy decision. Visiting nursing home after nursing home, defining just what assisted living vs. independent living meant, and who could best meet Mom's needs along with ours was more difficult than I ever imagined. But finding places down here that met our needs helped make the decision easier.

Moving Mom here has brought four major changes to our lives so far. First, it meant that Don, and/or the kids and I needed to check in on her daily. Meals don't happen on a regular schedule and figuring out when Mom was awake enough to have a visit was a challenge that we eventually have worked out. Well, sort of. :) Now that she's settled in and is comfortable, sometimes a phone call will do. But I still stop in whenever I'm out running errands during the day and I'm sure Don will continue to stop in regularly as well.

Second, it means that we get to see Diane every weekend. This is one of the best parts of the whole thing. She generally arrives here some time Saturday and stays through dinner, visiting Mom and with us until she feels compelled to head home again. Then she returns most Sundays to have at least a quick visit with Mom. We love her expanded presence in our lives and it is my prayer that through this, she'll come to realize just how much we do love her and enjoy her just because. And it certainly isn't lost on me that the Lord could use this as the final step in getting her to move down our way. :)

The third change certainly effects Don more than it does the rest of us. It seems to have worked out best that Don, being of sound financial mind, take over keeping track of Mom's finances, paying her bills and such. He's good at that sort of thing. But he's good at it because he takes the time to do things like balance checkbooks weekly and file bills after they are paid. Yeah. It was a concept to me, too. :) I'm sure this change will continue to evolve along with the rest, and I know we'll get better at it as he gets all of the accounts settled and her bills added in to his system.

The fourth change is something I didn't expect. And it really has to do with my own definition of family, and who that includes. As you know, I grew up with very loving parents who have spent their lives growing along with my brother and I (they started young!), and raising us with strong moral values and a great picture of what a true family is. I really didn't 'need' another mother in my life and Jan really didn't need me, either. She had Diane. While we were certainly cordial and I respected her as my wonderful husband's mom, I loved her from a distance. As it became more obvious that she would be coming down here for much of the rest of her life I began to ask the Lord to work in me. To make me the DIL he wanted me to be for her. That even though I loved her because she was my husband's Mom, that he would give me a growing love for her so that as I ministered to her needs it would be from the bottom of my heart and not out of duty.

I am not sure what I expected the Lord to really do, but he did what I asked and more. The first time I really realized it was the day Mom moved from the hospital to the nursing home. I was the 'greeter'. After all, every one else works and I had the time. I did the paperwork and waited. Mom was late. It seems a traffic jam was delaying the transport. And I had time to pray some more. By the time Mom arrived, Don was there as well. We settled her in and assessed her immediate needs, helped the staff do what they needed to do and prepared her for bed. Cradling her head in my hands as I said goodbye for the night was such a tender moment - for me anyway. I realized I would do what needed done and what was best for Mom because I loved her. Just because she was Jan. Not because I had to. Not because she was Don's Mom. Just because she is.

And that love has grown in the past few weeks. As we prepared to move her to what may be her last home in this world, I made decisions just as I do for my children. Because I've been given the opportunity to make the world better for her. Just because I love her. I have forced issues that needed to be tended to, and loved her patiently through others. Oh, I've had my moments. But the genuine joy I feel at knowing we've done what we can to make her comfortable, and the tears shed because she's improved so much in the past week are totally genuine. And it makes me very happy to know that we all truly are a family. Lock, stock and barrel.

And I don't think I'm the only one who has a growing love for 'Grandma Jan'. Yesterday morning while talking with Matthew he asked me if I thought the Lord might have moved Grandma Jan down here to be with us so that we could share the Lord more with her and help her develop a true relationship with the Lord before she dies. My son said that. And I didn't hesitate to agree. Of course I didn't let him see my tears. A Mom has to keep something hidden now and then. :)

When we began this new phase of life about six weeks ago, we had no idea what would eventually transpire. Looking back I can see that it has been a long time coming. And I know we will all be better for having gone through it.

Laura's New AFO

Last week we embarked on a new journey. One where Laura's foot will be held in place by an AFO for awhile. I must honestly say that after fighting it for so long, seeing her foot being held correctly and watching her walk almost normally has done my heart good. Knowing that 'cute shoes' will require a much more diligent search is something I can live with. Meanwhile, we went out and purchased a PT endorsed pair of New Balance tennies that are grey, pink and white. While they don't go with much of her dressier wardrobe, she wears them every day and loves them. And so it goes.

Here are some pictures of her in her AFO. And for those of you who have a kid with atypical/complex feet, you'll relate to the big toe stance well. :)

She's Another Year Older

Our precious Laura had another birthday this week. She turned five. Five. My baby is five! Where does the time go? How is it that I can barely remember the difficult times we dealt with when she was born? Where did the wee thing we struggled to keep alive go? Was she ever really that tiny and fragile? Did they really diagnose her as a failure to thrive and say she would never develop normally?

Oh if they could only see her now...

They'd find her right where the Lord wanted her, growing healthy and happy in the midst of the family that God made just for her. They'd find her busy taking care of her babies, learning all of the things she needs to know at this stage in her life, helping to make her own birthday cake, and keeping us all on our toes. Who cares that her baby bottles periodically become guns so she can safely traverse through her brothers 'war zone' with her baby in order to 'safwe' get to the grocery store. Or that she knows far too many details about Indiana Jones or Star Wars characters since she loves to get right in the middle of whatever her brothers are doing? What matters is that she is content and loves life, thinks pink is the best thing going as any true princess at heart would, and that she will grow up to be a wonderful, devoted wife, mother, and strong woman of God.

Yes, she's five. Where, oh where does the time go?