Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Boys and Their Toys

I am hesitant to admit it. But it seems I have no choice. Our house has been taken over and annexed by the Lego company. Yes, I realize it might be hard to believe but alas, tis true. We are what they might fondly refer to as one of their 'modest warehouses in the Northern US' where their blocks, special pieces and even bionicles are 'housed in a building where constant evaluation, creativity, and consultations can occur 24/7 with appropriately aged builders'. *sigh*

Having this distinction means that we must be careful where we walk when entering the main 'creativity den'. We NEVER enter in the dark, and even when all appears to be clear, we've learned not to trust the leftover 70's tan shag carpet that keeps the builders knees from ever getting splinters. Our feet have thanked us over and over again for our cautious rules, enacted after too many trust-inspired walks across the room. In this warehouse, builders must rouse themselves from creativity to get their required good night kiss at the door, and only under dire emergencies like middle of the night illnesses or other episodes where blood is involved, will Warehouse Supervisors enter the room.

We have come to realize that inspiration apparently arises to the Senior Builders from previous creations, stacked on every flat surface, ready for immediate interaction with new creations should it be deemed necessary. Only minimal inspiration comes from other sources as is apparent by the few sports and automobile posters and other memorabilia that surrounds them during moments of creativity. And it would seem that previous, well worn issues of Lego magazines, building instructions and posters would be absolute necessities in such a place.

Recently, the creators have added a new requirement in their warehouse that is still under discussion by the Budding Builder of the bunch. Apparently you must be of old enough age to respect previous creations, piles of pieces sorted for creations yet to be developed, and with knowledge enough to avoid stepping on projects currently in development to be allowed to enter the inner sanctum. Alas, those who are three don't seem to fit this list of requirements but feel that, just by the mere fact that they live in the warehouse, they should be allowed in at any time. While this issue has been brought before the Warehouse Supervisors on several occasions of late, no permanent policy has been created, and all involved are playing it by ear. The Senior Builders feel this policy needs continual enforcement and do their best to subversively act when they feel it is necessary. We've tried to tell the newbie that her feet would be much better off if she declined to enter of her own free will but even that hasn't stopped her.

This honorable distinction has taken an even deadlier turn. What was once limited to the upper realm of the warehouse has begun to appear in the more populated areas on the first floor. No longer can those others sharing space with the creators plop themselves in a chair without first checking to see that it is clear of current, imaginative creations. Younger, budding builders must first check their dollbeds before putting their babies to sleep to be sure they won't be stabbed by errant bionicles hiding in 'caves'. And possibly the most grievous issue of all is the inability for vacuuming to happen quickly. Senior builders must first be sure no highly important pieces are hiding in the realms of the 70's shag before the sweeper swiftly sucks them in to oblivion, never to be used again. This means the creators must place themselves prone and roll, bounce and otherwise swipe at all areas of the floor before they will declare it 'safe'. And we won't even mention what has to be done to vacuum the 'inner sanctum of creativity'. It seems to the Warehouse Supervisors that this isn't necessary but the builders loudly voice their concerns on a regular basis.

There are positive sides to everything. The Warehouse Supervisors have consoled themselves with knowing that their builders are usually doing something creative, worthwhile and inspiring, and are therefore not arguing with each other. There is also the 'then you vacuum when you are done inspecting the floor' thing which alleviates that from the Supervisors list of things to do. And finally, pictures of our Senior Builders creations are loaded weekly for all to see. Our builders are published! How awesome is that? :)

All in all, admitting you are a modest warehouse for an international corporation shouldn't be so bad. Just don't walk barefoot unless you're in to the latest Lego inspired "Indian dance". And then you should expect that every other warehouse employee will laugh right along with you.

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