Tuesday, January 18, 2011
The Circle of Life Goes On
Sometimes I like to forget. For instance, I can easily forget I've given up canned caffeine when presented with a cool, delicious 'silver bullet' with lime. And I can periodically forget that I'm heading downstairs after my hubby leaves each morning to torture myself on the treadmill. But what I really like to forget is how old I am. It is like my mind just can't wrap itself around the fact that I'm not still in my late 20's or early 30's. Time is standing still. At least for my mind. Sadly, my body isn't following suit.
Every once in awhile something puts itself right in front of you and it won't let you forget. You can't ignore it. It just is. And you know it. That happened yesterday. And I am still trying hard to grasp the reality it presents.
Yesterday my niece gave birth to the first of our family's next generation. I realized I was becoming a "Great Aunt" but I preferred to think of myself as a just a wonderful "great Aunt" and figured I could continue to forget the reality of the situation. You know. Semantics and all. It is a great coping skill when you are in denial. :) And it was working! Pretty well, actually. And then the new Grandparents had to spoil it all.
I heard the dinging of my phone and knew a new message had arrived. I picked it up and noted a new media message had arrived entitled "Gramps". "Great!" I thought. My parents had managed to get it together and get over to the hospital to see the baby! How awesome! And then I opened the picture.
There, sitting peacefully, was my brother holding the new baby. My Brother! Who is 17 mos older than me. A new Grandpa. I stopped breathing and just stared for a moment. The reality was that we are really old enough to be grandparents, great aunts, and great uncles. While I'm just almost 7 years from having given birth for the last time myself, my niece is just beginning the process once again for the next generation. Lance is the first. I'm sure there will be more to come. After all, there are five more 'cousins' to grow up and get married. I'm even looking forward to becoming a grandparent someday, too. When the time is right.
And perhaps, just perhaps, Lance has allowed me to begin to realize that intense parenting does end, grandparenting will begin. And in it all, I will be ready. At least physically.